Chu-Let-The-Dogs-Outโ๐พ๐ช๐บ๐ฌ๐ง๐ณ๐ฌ๐ณ๏ธโ๐
@Chumantastic
Mainly #Comedy๐คฃ #Family #Politics etc. Ask me the rest & Iโll tell you๐ Back up account is @Chumantastical๐
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http://mastodonapp.uk/@Chumantastic 05-12-2020 23:16:37
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I got sick in Madrid, and my hotel told me they have a doctor on staff..
I was surprised to hear that. They said, 'No one expects the Spanish inn physician!'
#eveningseasonings
I own a bakery where all of my cakes are 99p. Except for one, which is ยฃ2.50.
One of my customers asked why it was more expensive than the rest?
I said โThatโs Madeira cake!โ
#eveningseasonings
Lost my job at the paper and scissors factory on Friday..
They said I need to stop cutting corners.
#eveningseasonings
Even though Snow White had seven helpers..
she was always short staffed.
#eveningseasonings
When my wife and I argue, I always get the last word..
Theyโre usually, โIโm sorry. Youโre right.โ
#SideSplittingSunday
Son: Help. I canโt remember the name of this fucking song, Dad.
Me: Use your manners, Son. Theyโre called love songs.
#SideSplittingSunday
I am a trans man. My biology will always show I was born female, my sex is female(the whole point of โtransโ), my GENDER IS MALE. I donโt care about the chromosomes, I donโt care what the archeologists say about my bones 500 years from now. Iโm living my life as the man I am andโฆ
My name is Chris. I am a 39 year old single man..no kids..never married. Iโm a trucker with an amazing dog. Oh, Iโm also trans-does that make me any different? No, our paths may be different and our struggles..but Iโm still human just as you, and just as all my trans brothers andโฆ
Thanks for all the suggestions. I had a couple of DMs asking why I didnโt just google it.
To those I say, sometimes itโs better to learn from people whoโve actually seen a movie than google.
She has decided to settle for this๐๐พ
I hope Gayle Fallon doesnโt let her down๐๐คฆ๐พโโ๏ธ๐๐พ
My wife said I need to start learning the definition of more words to improve my vocabulary.
I told her, โI donโt really care about that.โ
She replied that I was being โapathetic.โ
Iโm like, โโฆa pathetic what?โ
#eveningseasonings
I told my wife I was going to tell some Tom Petty jokes, and she warned me that I better notโฆ
But I wonโt back down!
#eveningseasonings
Today is not the day for OJ Simpson jokes..
But I might take a stab at it tomorrow.
*Too soon?
#eveningseasonings