Tom Quigley (@tqsideways) 's Twitter Profile
Tom Quigley

@tqsideways

Comedy/humor writer, part-time musician who likes to make people laugh and smile -- and applaud

ID: 452429524

linkhttp://tomquigley.blogspot.com/ calendar_today01-01-2012 20:53:53

11,11K Tweet

392 Followers

787 Following

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So, I guess he plans on making a decision on whether to bomb Iran the same day he’ll release his health care plan — in two weeks... Yup...

So, I guess he plans on making a decision on whether to bomb Iran the same day he’ll release his health care plan — in two weeks...

Yup...
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His response: “How about you and me get together at some nice cozy romantic Hawaiian restaurant and have ourselves our own private little luau? I’ll bring the booze...”

His response:

“How about you and me get together at some nice cozy romantic Hawaiian restaurant and have ourselves our own private little luau? I’ll bring the booze...”
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“I decided to put up a flag pole in front of and in back of the White House because at the G7 Summit, all the other leaders told me they’d like to see me stick a pole up — uh, on the White House Lawn...”

“I decided to put up a flag pole in front of and in back of the White House because at the G7 Summit, all the other leaders told me they’d like to see me stick a pole up — uh, on the White House Lawn...”
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“Doctor, when I recover, will my heart still be healthy?” “Can’t say. We haven’t detected a heart in you yet...”

“Doctor, when I recover, will my heart still be healthy?”

“Can’t say. We haven’t detected a heart in you yet...”
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THIS JUST IN: Ancestry.com has determined that JD Vance’s family came from wolves, which disqualifies him for citizenship

THIS JUST IN:

Ancestry.com has determined that JD Vance’s family came from wolves, which disqualifies him for citizenship
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“Don’t tell me there’s no Epstein client list. You’re on the list!.. You’re on the list!... You’re on the list!...”

“Don’t tell me there’s no Epstein client list. You’re on the list!.. You’re on the list!... You’re on the list!...”
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“Pete, what do you know about Russia using deadly chemical weapons against Ukraine?” “I have no idea. Maybe they’re putting fluoride in Ukraine’s water supply. I’ll check with RFK”...

“Pete, what do you know about Russia using deadly chemical weapons against Ukraine?”

“I have no idea. Maybe they’re putting fluoride in Ukraine’s water supply. I’ll check with RFK”...
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Or in the words of Melania, “Who is Kennedy? I never hear of him. I rather have my name on front of Pussycat Lounge on K Street with Wednesday special on all lap dances...”

Or in the words of Melania, “Who is Kennedy? I never hear of him. I rather have my name on front of Pussycat Lounge on K Street with Wednesday special on all lap dances...”
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THIS JUST IN: Trump Given A Set Of Medals From The ‘84 Olympics By The 2028 US/Los Angeles Olympic Commitee, Immediately Proclaims Himself The Greatest Olympic Athlete Since Jim Thorpe

THIS JUST IN:

Trump Given A Set Of Medals From The ‘84 Olympics By The 2028 US/Los Angeles Olympic Commitee, Immediately Proclaims Himself The Greatest Olympic Athlete Since Jim Thorpe
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“Governor Abbott, by the power vested in me by my Trump Bible, which I’ll be glad to sell you a copy of for the low price of only $59.95, I command you to stand up and walk!”...

“Governor Abbott, by the power vested in me by my Trump Bible, which I’ll be glad to sell you a copy of for the low price of only $59.95, I command you to stand up and walk!”...