Suddenly, everyone is messaging me about "helmets" and "Mary Sues" and "OMG Lando" and "is that your brother?" and "hugs" and "creepy laughter" and "controversial Skywalker-related titles." Has something happened I should know about?

*Spends a bit of time tonight thinking about that one medal that was never awarded but really should have been*

I see #BenSoloChallenge is trending. It probably shouldn't surprise me that after Ben murdered his way across the galaxy, committed patricide, and eventually changed his mind and helped save everyone, he is best known for slowly pulling out a lightsaber and shrugging humorously.

Today, I tried to engage Finn in conversation about his tragic past as a stormtrooper. He kept saying, "Where's Rey?" and looking fixedly out the window. I may need to borrow Rose's taser.

Someone just rang our doorbell. Ben commanded three security droids to shoot the door continually until it was a smoking pile of rubble. When I asked him why, he said, "It could have been Uncle Luke." Our postal worker's funeral is on Friday.

I would do the #leiachallenge, but it just seems a little redundant, somehow.

Ben: Do you want me to tell you what happened to those cheesy fries? Or do you already know? Rey: ... Ben: Say it. Rey: ... Ben: Say it. Rey: ... Ben: THEY WERE NOTHING. YOU'RE NOTHING. Rey [to me]: Could I hang out with you for a while? Me: Of course, dear.

Via text: Ben: why does everything bad happen to me Ben: mom Ben: MOM Me: Sorry. I was fleeing the ruthless First Order with a small band of survivors. Ben: well that's just selfish

I had just come back from marching today when Ben stuck his head into the room and said, "I needed pancakes today, and you. Weren't. There," then retreated to his room. I hope he likes it in there. Someone seems to have blocked the door with a solid oak wardrobe.

Me: Theoretically speaking, if you ever had the chance to kill me in battle, would you? Ben: No. Me: That's good to-- Ben: I would freeze, and my underlings would do it for me. Me: ... Ben: Because I love you.

I've been wondering lately what has inspired Ben to such frequent shirtlessness. Today, I found one of the TWILIGHT books on the dining room table, open to a scene featuring Jacob. Hmm.

During a game of Scrabble: Holdo: I'm going to play "VARIOUS" on this triple-word-- Poe: That doesn't fit! You're spelling it wrong! You clearly don't know what you're doing, you COWARDLY TRAITOR. Me: It looks fine to me. Poe: Oh yeah...huh. Good play.

"There are no chocolate sprinkles on my ice cream. I thus have no choice but to succumb to the Dark Side," said Ben this afternoon. This happens every day.

I just heard a scream, then a crash, then an igniting lightsaber, then what I presume was a wall being sliced in half. I must ask Luke to stop projecting himself into Ben's bedroom at random moments.

Chewie now makes sure to hug me every time he sees me. The one time he didn't, he was viciously harassed on Twitter for two solid years. I think he's a little afraid of the Internet now.

Ben: I'm going to make a speech as Supreme Leader about how great the galaxy is doing. Will you be there? Me: Sorry, dear. I'll be fleeing your brutal, merciless pursuit. Ben: I knew you didn't really love me.

Via text: Ben: i hate uncle luke so much Me: Ben, you need to let this go. Ben: u never woke up to him STANDING OVER U WITH A LIGHTSABER MOM Me: Yes, I did. Ben: :-0 Me: About twelve times. Ben: :-0 Me: He's not a morning person. Ben: omg

Poe: I have a rip in my shirt. Holdo: Here...I know how we can fix-- Poe: COWARD! *snatches back shirt* *bows head in attitude of despair* *staggers away, utterly defeated* *ejects shirt from airlock* Holdo: I was going to give it to Threepio to mend. Me: I know, dear.

Ben: What's THAT? Me: Milk. Ben: But it's...white. Me: I noticed that too. Ben: What kind of milk is white? There's blue milk, and there's green milk, and there's purple milk, but...white milk? I'm not drinking that! Me: I'd better return it to the store. Ben: Yeah, really.

Ben has already played the Han Solo trailer twenty-six times. He claims he's hate-watching it. I keep catching him mouthing along to the dialogue.