March is so cursed to me that I feel like this in it, like this in the 2 months before AND after it, and sometimes even in all other 7 months too! It is so terrifying... The reason for this... Why it need to be like that??? Wish I was able to control my own body... I'm tired...

This sucks.

It hurts so much... I wish I had never been born... Please someone end my suffering... How is it possible that the best person that showed up in your life and made you feel truly alive to be a monster that emotionally abused you, to be the worst person you've met in the world???

How can a person be so cruel? How can the person I trusted and loved most in life be the person who emotionally abused me? How can someone do all this without feeling even a bit of empathy, without remorse?

I don't want to live in the same world where the only person I truly hoped would understand me is the person who tortured and abused me the most in life. I don't want to live I don't want to live I don't want to live I don't want to live I don't want to live I don't want to live!

took a bunch of pills yesterday, don't wanted to wake up anymore... when I opened my eyes this evening I cried morbidly because I'm still alive... why I'm so uncapable of ending this??....

I'm... so..... tired.......