Why do I need to create an account at arbys.com?! #besidesthemeats

Everything bagels must be a bagel executive’s ploy to disguise moldy bagels. #wesaidithaseverything

On the plus side, when it is 100 degrees out, Now and Laters get a little soft.

The lesson for the day is you need to lie to the Chic-Fil-A app and tell them you are there 15 minutes before you are actually there….

How can the FedEx website be as bad as it is. When I try and pay them it feels like I’m on a geo-cities site. Maybe it generates them extra late fees by being unusable?

My 7 year old can’t stop rewinding and watching the wiggling Ocean Spray holiday commercial. Is the baseball game back on?! Also, Are those #canlines on those blobs?!?

Why does PG&E pay for advertising as a utility? Is there another option I’m not aware of that I can choose?

My favorite rational for why Deion chose Colorado over Cincy. #goldstarisevenworse

If I was a drug smuggler I would use an elf on the shelf as my mule cause everyone knows you can’t touch them or they lose their magic. #unsearchable #elfontheshelf #elfontheshelf2022

Is TNF a thing? That logo is baaaaaad. #tnf

This is a very interesting situation! Man doesn’t find himself in a situation like this every day….

The family man is the best don Cheadle + nick cage movie available on December 22nd.

I’d buy a Mercedes if it talked to me in the voice of Don Draper.

Is there another city besides Philly who has a statue to a movie character?

Feel like ChatGPT could have written the Top Gun sequel…

Still drives me insane that ABC News will air graphic horror movie commercials during NBA playoffs and before 8pm. I’d like to enjoy the game with my young kids without them being scared so bad they don’t want to go to sleep.

My family is the trunk-or-treat version of wedding crashers.

Maybe if all-state didn’t run commercials every freaking second on my TV, they could afford to actually offer me insurance in California.

Turns out if you eat 57 mini candy bars it’s like eating at least one full size candy bar. #conversionrates

I guess everyone hits the age where they can’t name a single song by the Super Bowl half time performer. My time has come #loadinghimuponmyspotifytofeelyoungnow