happy halloween

Pull up tonight man, we got these red barrels that will explode if you shoot at them, and if you break these boxes you might find rare items inside

I once sang the Monster Mash in a karaoke booth with a group of German guys and I guess the Monster Mash never made it to Germany because none of them had ever heard it before and the song seemed to genuinely frighten them somehow

Gonna start telling people “sorry I can’t hang out that night, it’s a full moon” to add a sense of werewolf mystery to my persona

A friend of mine tried to stealth set me up with a mutual friend of hers, but during the hangout I got too invested in trying to unlock Funky Kong in Mariokart on my friend’s Wii for too long and was informed they would be pursuing other options afterwards

if i die in a car accident instead of marking the site with a cross and flowers please mark it with a 12 foot home depot skeleton

🗣️🗣️ WE HAVE CONFIRMATION OF THE SPELL 🗣️🗣️

Movies should also end with the whole cast doing bows in increasing character importance to a chipper song like the end of a play

Lowkey wish I was plagued by visions

Nothing matters to me more right now than the witchcraft Mariners

SIXTY. Cal Raleigh is just the seventh player in MLB history with 60 home runs in a single season. #TridentsUp

BEST IN THE WEST. #SeizeTheMoment

HUMPY HAS WON!!! HUMPY HAS WON!!!

ALCS, HERE WE COME! #SeizeTheMoment

Best vibes on the planet. #SeizeTheMoment

In 2017 I saw a guy riding a hoverboard on the sidewalk with his hood up and hands in his pockets sobbing and the visual has never left my mind since

“Trying to land a haymaker...” The broadcast booth was fired up for Geno’s ground shaking grand slam 🔥 #SeizeTheMoment

Baseball….

one of my airpods died now im listening to straight garfunkel

Osama shouldve hooped instead of tryna kill ppl cause he tall as hell!