The person who mutes it.

I AM HOLLERINGGGGG🤣

this is 2012-2014

you're not weirding me out, you're weirding me in keep going

We’re going to destroy the planet for a technology whose progress is measured by fake videos of The Fresh Prince eating spaghetti.

for girls who wanted to be boys for a little bit

people really be using the fuck out their free will

Me saying "but hey, things happen" after telling the most traumatic event of my life

1950s twitter:

I know Michelle Visage is out there celebrating right now

my wedding: me: "i do" guests: awwww me: "or do i?" guests: OOOOOooooo

she knew something we didn’t

asian women and their obsession with fugly white men must stem from some postcolonial epigenetic trait

"I'll just stop and get gas in the morning" Me in the morning realizing I have to get gas:

finally getting prescribed adderall and realizing you actually were just lazy the whole time

Call each friend individually and repeat the story as many times as you can.

Just sent off an email saying warmest “retards” instead of “regards”

“You guys kept on pushing” Tyra I was 7 years old why are are we shifting the blame?

It's genuinely sweet to see how this resonated with so many people but it does remind me of the Stav bit where he's like "80% of ethnic groups are exactly the same everyone's like oh we're always late, we eat a lot. You call strangers aunts. Only WASPs are not like this"