:c: frantically pressing the button to before I brought the back of my hand to my mouth as if that could hold back the emotion that :c:

:c: tightened in my chest. But I knew when I stepped into the dimly lit hallway. I couldn't even feel her. I didn't want to unlock :c:

:c: the door and open it to an empty apartment, because whatever furniture lay left in it was of little consequence. It was just walls :c:

:c: and corners, holding in emptiness that I could already feel in my own body, encapsulating memories too long taken for granted. :c:

:c: So I stared at it. For what seemed like hours as time stretched in those minutes, dragging on and on, moving forward when I only :c:

:c: wanted it to move backwards. It was someone else opening the door to step into the cold embrace of the truth, someone else that felt :c:

:c: that blow to the stomach as all the air escaped and I felt the crushing weight of too many mistakes and broken promises that :c:

:c: lingered in her absence. I didn't go any farther than the front door. There was no need. Not when she wasn't there to peep around :c:

:c: the corner, wild hair making an appearance before she did, eyes sad but yet relieved that I was home again. There wasn't even the :c:

:c: mewl of the stupid kitten that I only tolerated for her sake, and I'd never tell her that I was allergic. There was just....nothing. :c:

:c: My back rested against the wall as I slid down, knees bending as the sob escaped. Uncharacteristic release of pent up fears realized :c:

:c: flowing with the salt that bit and stung internal wounds as I dragged fingers through my hair to rest my forehead against my knees. :c:

:c: I sat like that for awhile before it was too much, and there was a strong possibility I didn't lock the door behind me, because it :c:

:c: didn't matter. Not when the only thing of value was already stolen. I abandoned it all and left to drive and drive, until I stopped :c:

:c: in Halidan Granger's driveway, red rimmed eyes framed in sunglasses I didn't need in the dark of night. I thought I was done with the :c:

:c: crying until she opened the door, eyes lit with excitement darkening with concern, exclamation dying on her lips along with her smile:c:

:c: as I pulled the sunglasses up into my hair, features crumpling as I moved into her waiting arms. I couldn't remember the last time :c:

:c: I'd cried. I didn't. It never solved anything, and my father had said it best when he said it was weakness leaving the body. But :c:

:c: when that was all that was left in the wake of this, a weakened foundation, there wasn't really much more I could do.:|

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