Brushing your teeth is not something you should do when fully dressed. So I'm learning...

Where's the backhand emoji when you need it? Apple Support

You know you're winning at life when baby pigs start following you on Instagram. 😍😍😍

zippyvegan's photo instagram.com/p/BgeHrjMhc_C/

For those who like to piss in the middle urinal...another middle you may like 🖕

If we can hear snow compress when we step on it, I wonder if a black hole makes a sound when compressing matter? Hmmm... NASA Neil deGrasse Tyson

Opioid abuse deserves to be treated as a public health matter, instead of locking people up who suffer from substance abuse.

Going to the store craving avocados, is the best way to look like a maniac in the produce section.

On the never ending quest of keeping the balance between spreading valuable knowledge and seeming like an egotistical dickface...

How do you tell someone you didnt recognize them because their face got fatter?

People partying at Coachella like Donald J. Trump isn't the president still... #whyareyoupartying #theworldisgoingtoshit #letsactlikeit

The best part about going to the movie theatre alone is not having to find two seats next to each other. And not having to share your popcorn.

Then again, having someone to share the blame of destroying an entire large popcorn before the movie starts is nice...

#AQuietPlace was the worst movie to have to fart in... 😅

That moment when someone tries to open the door in your stall and you successfully locked it. 😅😂