America is exhausting.

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

me: I’m going to disconnect completely today also me:

Reba, not right now……

We failed as a society when we invented tortoises. We already had turtles, that was enough. We got greedy.

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Dear kids, this was the America we grew up in and it was awesome.

I counted the yard signs in my neighborhood, and "ADT Home Security" is going to win in a landslide.

When they finally declare a winner, I hope somebody yells YAHTZEE!

Twitter should show mutual blocks instead of mutual friends. Nothing brings people together like ‘I hate that motherfucker too’

Next time he asks if you’re about to cum, just yell out “Too early to call.”

Fuck the election. Let’s get drunk and go shopping for tires.

Do y'all watch the results come or do you go to bed around now and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Mainly, now, I’m just worried about all the best people in my life. I want those people to be okay.

I don’t think I have any funny tweets left in me right now. Thanks for the laughs. Peace.

titsmcdick on bsky.

WT, and I cannot stress this enough, F.