Met my date last night by a McD’s as the bar was further on. Said our initial hellos & then your girl was like “hi, I’m super hungry can I grab a quick McD’s first” - So yeah sat there eating my 🍔 before we proceeded to the bar. literally no fucks 😂 #ImLovingIt

Tinderella Get your fill, girl 💁🏻‍♀️ #NandosBae

So today my manager complained about her bunion and then proceeded to show me. How was your Monday?

Ugh just looked back at all the emails and I was so distraught, I even wrote a goodbye letter. As if that pair of cunts would have led me to leaving my beautiful HTS1Jr. Massive lesson: no man is worth your tears and the one who is won’t make you cry. Onwards.

Listening to Game of Thrones #TheWindsofWinter on my commute to work and genuinely wondering where the hell are my dragons 🐉

So the child anger management article said to draw an anger thermometer which she has done. Ish. 🙈

Anyone else feel cheated when your phone automatically adjusts to the correct time so you don’t even notice that extra hour? #clockschange #FirstWorldProblems

MY FAVOURITE BIT ABOUT BAKE OFF IS SEEING ALL THE BAKERS HANG OUT WITH EACH OTHER SINCE FILMING 😭😭😭 #GBBOFinal

As if Carol Vorderman has never heard of curried goat 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ #ThePrideOfBritainAwards #POBA

There is a man on my train wearing just a T-shirt. I repeat, there is a man wearing just a T-shirt. Fam, you’re making my nips hurt

A guy asked me “how do you like your eggs in the morning” on tinder, so I said “fertilised 😉” and he obviously couldn’t take me being funnier than him, because he unmatched me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yesterday I was in the club thinking I’m nearly 30 I can’t keep doing this shit, I’m tired and I want to be at home planning a Easter egg hunt for my kids with my husband. Then the big ballers came in and brought me to their table.

If you dudes really think your dicks are all that pretty why don't you start sending them to each other instead.