Younger me: I would never talk to strangers online Me today: trauma dumps on random people who message me on LinkedIn

The way my grandmas hype me up after I update my profile picture on Facebook is unmatched

i don’t have “plans for the 4th” i’m not a fucking republican

do not start. with those sky booms. i don’t like them. and you don’t deserve them

the 🇺🇸 flag is a 🚩 flag

hey (with intentions of building a lego set together)

liking what we do in the shadows (2014) is a red flag. its also an orange flag. and a yellow flag. and a green flag. and a blue flag. and a purple flag. liking wwdits is gay. YOU are GAY.

Okay fuck marry kill: diversity, equity, inclusion

Hey (with intentions of getting iced coffee and going thrift shopping with you)

I will not download Pokemon Go for a boy. I will not download Pokemon go for a boy. I will no

The holy trinity MILF 🔺 Karen Cougar

Read one sentence of feedback on my first grad school paper and I'm already spiraling

My grandma says she loves my "quick wit" but I know that's her nice way of saying I'm a smartass

SCAM ALERT – IMPORTANT The cat has already been fed.

Lol my pain tolerance is really high because I'm chronically ill but today I found out it's so high that I've been walking around on a mildly broken leg for 5 months

Old people will really tell you off for swearing and then use a slur

Ok I liked #ThePezOutlaw but the US pezident could've registered pez products with customs and border control and solved his whole villain arc in one move instead of hiring spies

Deleting Twitter for now bc I don't need more reasons to be upset and it's a shit show here