It is actually so insulting that a stubbed toe feels fine after like 20 seconds. What did you make me feel all that for?? You made me look like an idiot

Only sending condolence cards when someone dies is not enough. We need a range of cards that enable us to sympathise with people about smaller things too

An email from @firstdorset about fireworks in Axminster. They start at 6.45pm. The First bus from Axminster is at 6.15pm.

Hey Sir Michael , did you happen to put up a few posters in the Dublin area announcing a parade? Or is this the work of the Local Youth?

One million followers in a million days r c Great to have this officially confirmed, thus proving my innocence. The people of Dublin are now not allowed to be mad at me for any reason 👍

Thought it might be nice to share one of my delicious recipes in case anyone's in need of some kitchen inspiration this weekend 👍

Me: [Has never touched cocaine] Me every time I'm at the airport: Oh no what if I accidentally packed a lot of cocaine

Just saying that all the antagonism directed at Sir Michael is not helping anyone when it comes to November's PMA

Sceptic tank One million followers in a million days Well said. Is this what Tom Bernard Low envisaged when he built the information superhighway? A good man being terrorised by his deviant followers? I highly doubt it. They must not realise that this is not the way to win the prestigious monthly award :(

Sir Michael One million followers in a million days Duncan even posted a fake award to antagonise you even further. Ollie must be so embarrassed!

It's interesting how tennis players don't carry jump leads with them on the court. My first thought was maybe it's because they drive EVs now which don't need jump leads. But then I looked at matches from the old days and those players didn't carry them either. So it's a mystery.

Sir Michael It's because their cars never run out of deuce

Never a truer word spoken. Thinking especially Sir Michael 's followers who er, need to forgive him for, um, things he didn't do.

If you would prefer to read my webpostings on the blue site, I don't mind. I'm SirMichael over there (if you would prefer to not read my webpostings anywhere, I DO mind)

Sir Michael Brian Hyphen I've been reading your content since before Bernard Whatsisname invented the worldwide information super motorway. I used to travel to Waterford every week to read your posters stuck on lampposts. Brian is an amateur and should under no circumstances be in contention for the PMA.

Avery Heart Cathal Kennedy @theheronsays This is an accurate summary and I'd like to think we're all satisfied with how the situation stands.

WORST THINGS ABOUT NOT BEING A DENTIST 4. Nobody asks me for my opinion about teeth 3. No idea where to buy a denist's chair if I ever need one 2. Am not treated as an equal in the dentist community 1. Constantly being overlooked for the prestigious Dentist of the Year Award

Cathal Kennedy I AM NOT A DENTIST. You can't get business cards like this made if you're a dentist

Good bye X! See you all on BlueSky

When did Scotland go so anti public transport? It's like they want people to use the car more NONE of these services is operating,but Traveline Scotland shows them, confidently announcing that the journey planner has been updated