Guess who's here, yes. It's me.

I have many questions about the phrasing there, I think I'll just... Assume you meant you wanted a fight

Ohhh, well good luck with that. I don't think there's much I can help with there, life already screwed me over enough.

The love of my life died, and I spent 500 years trying desperately to bring her back. Only to learn that it was completely impossible to do so, after centuries of trying everything I could.

Damn... I'm really starting to get old, can't even taste this anymore. Time sure is unforgiving

I am suddenly very concerned for the livelihood of my ankles, very concerned

Hmm, interesting. I guess I'll be prepared to deal with these things then, should certainly be... Interesting at least.

What did turtles ever do to you? Other than eat straws, and cause fast food places to give us those shitty paper straws.

Sounds like how I feel in regards to certain beasts I've encountered, they exist. That's reason enough to detest them.

Makes sense, they sound very very irritating honestly.

I couldn't just give up, especially because her death was my fault. So I tried my hardest, but realized it meant nothing. The only way I can ever bring her back, is by changing the past itself. But to do that... I'd have to create a world for her, in which I don't exist.

Oh? Ew? What are you ewing at?

I see, sorry you had to see that. I never was one for... Displays of affection.

Hmm, seems today will be a good day. The tea tastes better than usual

Roomba pony has been spotted, deploy the claymore roomba.

Haha! My genius knows no bounds, nuclear claymore roomba. It works!

Hello again, it's been quite some time since I last saw you. Did ya miss me?