New cal tracker is too cute

I’m still eating too much but I lost 5lbs in water weight so that’s something

I feel like recovery and relapse is a constant debate in my mind and I’m living in this linear state where I starve one week and preach about loving yourself the next , I genuinely don’t know what I want this disorder is hell

how I feel after ghosting all my irls so I can focus on getting worse

I hate having a fucking eating disorder why am I underweight and still fat why do I want to starve and eat at the same time

I need to lock tf in

Losing the weight I gained back is torture

I’m in anorexic flow state

I’ve had an ed for years and have never reached my ugw I need to lock the fuck in

may we all get skinnier while our opps get fatter. amen 🙏

-7lbs in 10 days but it’s weight I’ve lost before so it doesn’t count 💔

Yesterday I ate exactly my limit for dinner, today I’m going to do better

Besides from a few blips I’m lowkey comfortably recovering from my eating disorder …. I’ve learned that I’ll always hate my body I might as well feel healthy in it rather than like I’m dying everyday Also food is yummy and not that scary fr Maybe I’ll relapse again but not rn