Witnesses this fucking goober in a “Rizz” Jersey walking around getting random girls numbers #shrink

Yes, me and my friends are rolling tits on this Saturday evening. Any questions or concerns? don’t care, take it up with my assistant.

It is indeed NOT working right now.

Alumni weekend. Bunch of fags coming back to town reliving the glory days. Sorry buddy, you taking a y-bomb with your pledge brother won’t make you feel alive again #shrink

Fucked a Jewish bitch in the ass last night. Any Q’s?

Cracking open a cold one tonight just in case Kamala wins tomorrow. I just know she’s gonna out law white guys like me enjoying a Monday night.

Golden rule of the weekend: #DontNarcanMe

Three person urinal. All of em open? Taking the middle every time. Complete power move. Maybe a little gay but the benefits of the dominance you establish out weigh in the case.

10:30 in the morning. 5th beer of the day. On my way to watch some hockey. I will NOT be taking questions at this time. Cheers.

It’s just different.

Not even a fan of either of these teams but I’m drunk and rowdy and feeling like getting in a fight to stick up for the home team.

I’m off the Ming tell Houston we have a problem

Not sure how I feel about this one. For now I’ll say proceed… with caution. #maintain

Random chest pains all day after last night. Can’t help but think this it for me. Atleast I went out doing what I loved.

“Here’s my Christmas list mom, I’ll let you know if there’s anything else, thanks”

Four old fashions in at Christmas dinner. Time to inform the family on why coins have ridges. See you all on on the other side. 👁️

@vodkapawsta I got chat banned on activision and need help recovering my account!

UK guys really have zero drip. Why the fuck are all you blokes wearing Nike t-shirts to the club what the fuck is going on.