Cloud: What's the name of that guy we always run into at the market? Wedge: His cat's name is Mr. Whiskers. Cloud: That's not... That's not what I asked. Wedge: That's the information I have.

Congratulations to the whole The Late Show team! And thank you to the Peabody committee. But Special Thanks to my dear friend, Steve Carell. I officially forgive you for puking in Evie’s Volvo. (Not sure if she does yet)

Unvaccinated think they’re tough, but they are cowards who endanger the immunocompromised, the children and seniors. Get the prick, don’t be one

Work smarter, not harder.

Counting the minutes 🧡

So it begins.

Same.

🤍

Hey Dairy Queen riddle me this. Disclaimer:not actually a riddle, why the plain white toast in the chicken strip basket? I’ve been getting this for years and have always wondered. Honestly curious if I’ve been eating this wrong all this time..

a serial sexual abuser/predator who was rightfully ejected from the internet for being such is trying to claw back a position of influence despite being such. dangerous. report any content that sjin dares create. couldn't speak up before due to fear of outing. can now. he is scum

Today would have been my dad’s 93rd birthday. I will forever be grateful to ⁦John Cena⁩ for the kindness he showed him the day he drove up from Seattle to Vancouver just so he could hang out with his favorite star of the WWE. on the set of ⁦Psych on Peacock⁩ ❤️❤️🍍

Stern reminder: If you're mean, you don't deserve dinosaurs.

I want to be very clear: unlike an apparent majority of the Supreme Court, I do not consider the rights of women to be dispensable. As long as I am Governor, I will fight with everything I have to protect reproductive rights and to preserve access to reproductive health care.

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

O Captain. My Captain.

Magneto was right.