Them: are you nervous? Me: about what? And yes

bagels should be free for girls

If I was a millionaire I’d live out my wildest dreams, like buying raspberries when they’re not on sale

I don’t know, man, maybe some dudes from the 1700s who owned people and would be mystified by the sight of a dishwasher weren’t right about everything in perpetuity

No Juul no abortion. What else is there to do

I think all politicians should know fear on an intimate level

jewish law requires an abortion if the fetus is threatening the mother’s life. “religious freedom” in america only ever applies to the white christian masses.

The irrational and insatiable compulsion to feel actual animosity and loathing towards people who get to exist without the confines of your mental illness 😍💘

i think JFK did all that stuff for attention and so he could get the airport named after him

being alive is great because there are so many different aiolis to try. but then of course there are also the horrors

WOW recovering from a mental illness and being fine for several years and then having it suddenly show up again but five times more intense is uhhhh probably the worst thing I’ve ever experienced

I’m like bugging out and losing my shit but in a very nonchalant chill manner

DND quote of the evening: “Will you get God another beer?

I do not want to enter my two factor authentication code. I want to feed an apple to a horse

what the fuck is a runners high bitch I’ll kill you

bilf (book i'd like to finish)