After a discussion with @NIUCoachHammock I no longer have an offer at Northern Illinois university... this is incredibly sad for my and my family as I worked so hard to get to this point. I will come out of this stronger, as God always has a plan for me #AGTG 🙏🙏🙏🙏😭

The world is a mysteriously amazing place, and the best example I can think of to prove this is that if I told you that something tasted like blue, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve spent most of my day thinking about this Looney Tunes Basketball game I owned for the Super Nintendo

What’re some of your favorite slang terms for getting drunk? Favorites I’ve heard are being drunky, being zooted, and being schlammered

Hi, my name is Scotty Scott. My talents include listening to The Prince of Egypt soundtrack at 7am and crying at The Prince of Egypt soundtrack at 7am

cleansing your timeline with this Mandy Patinkin clip from 2012 when the interviewer's wife went into labor

I think I am single-handedly keeping the Box Macaroni and Cheese Business going during all of this

Some girls think that they’re Anna Kendrick in “Pitch Perfect” when they’re actually just being a bitch

[Me watching any Gordon Ramsey cooking show] Me: Wow, that dish looks really good. Gordon: This dish looks disgusting Me: Disgusting

So if I were to create a GroupMe for Animal Crossing trades and turnips, who wants in?

But when the world needed him most - he vanished.

This Aunt Wu episode of Avatar: the Last Airbender is a cunning allegory for current society and I am UPSET

My desired aesthetic is the guy on the Pringles can... but like daddy.