Got on a train to Germany and they've just announced that it can't depart cos they don't have a driver. I could do it, mate. I play train sims. Piece of piss. I'd need a playstation controller, but.

I'm in Germany. Yesterday I was at one of the dams bombed by the Dambusters. I've no historical facts to give you, only to say I had a lovely curry sausage followed by tasty cinnamon churros. Take that, Adolf.

I'm about to watch Some Like It Hot for the first time.

I now live in a country where actual Nazis won the election. Where actual Nazis are going to be in government. Fucking hell.

After being in my Steam library for years I've finally played The Silent Age and LOVED it. Cracking story, great writing, fabulous art and straightforward puzzles. Thoroughly recommended.

Half a Snickers bar and a pat on the head if you know what this is.

I ordered a new vacuum cleaner today and I'm genuinely excited.

Stop confusing chimpanzees with monkeys. It's like not knowing the difference between a dog and a cat. Sort yourself out for Christ's sake

I recently replayed Alien: Isolation and was raving about it. Now they've announced a sequel. Coincidence? Yes of course it is, you weirdo.

Have a mad itch to play all the Metro games again. Tried a bit of Stalker but didn't take to it so it got me thinking about the lovely Metro with the gas masks and the Nazis and the mutant dog things or something. Those games are ace.

The best shit.

The children in Metro 2033 are some next level freakazoid shit.

In Metro 2033 there's a station called 'Polis' and I always wondered why it was called that. Never made the connection. I've had ten years to think about that. Dearie me.

I came back to Twitter after a year and a half away just to have a look but I think I'm good, to be honest. I really feel it's time to properly call it a day. You can find me here. Please come and say HELLO. It's been swell. Take care of yourselves. Cheerio. x