I just became utterly transfixed watching a sailor tie up some ropes. I think I’ve been shipknotised.

Sad to see UK in 27th place in global maths rankings. Still, at 492pts vs leaders Singapore on 564, heartening we're only 65 behind.

.Watford Football Club Cheering is on from The Lion and Ball in Prague!

Nice to see Michael Sheen has quit acting to spend more time with his own self-importance.

Finished Walk with #walkmeter, on Freycinet Nationa... route, time 2:49:33, distance 7.53 miles, average 22:31.

Finished Walk with #walkmeter, on Cradle Mountain route, time 2:46:28, distance 7.84 miles, average 21:13.

Create compelling Twitter content and have your followers gripped by (1/3)

Finished Walk with #walkmeter, on Abel Tasman route, time 2:37:31, distance 8.25 miles, average 19:05, see walkmeter.com/638e622d4d20c2….

Finished Walk with #walkmeter, on a new route, time 2:32:00, distance 7.32 miles, average 20:46, see walkmeter.com/638e622d4d20c2….

.Air New Zealand UK ✈ Designed this at your great exhibition in Christchurch. Not convinced by airworthiness. Any advice for budding air entrepreneur?

.Air New Zealand Designed this at your great exhibition in Christchurch. Not convinced by airworthiness. Any advice for budding air entrepreneur?

Finished Walk with #walkmeter, on Church Stretton route, time 2:40:13, distance 7.80 miles, average 20:32.

Finished Walk with #walkmeter, on a new route, time 2:55:32, distance 8.71 miles, average 20:09, see walkmeter.com/638e622d4d20c2….

Finished Walk with #walkmeter, on Ware, Stanstead A... route, time 1:51:33, distance 5.99 miles, average 18:38.

.𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 Boris Becker. Improve your commentary 100x by not talking.

Finished Walk with #walkmeter, on Ardeley, Beningto... route, time 2:25:53, distance 7.55 miles, average 19:20.

Convince people you’re an F1 driver by writing a shit poem about a dead woman 𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀

My first 280-character tweet. Just think how much more intricate I can now make my lovely puns! Shame they're not going for more like 500 characters to avoid having to read long threads. Anyway, even at 280 characters, it's a big improvement and the possibilities are almost endl

Narcisists really should take a good, hard look at themselves.

Last night I made love to a lipstick. Make up sex is great!