despite being a professional artist i just got smoked in a squirrel drawing contest with my wife

I need everyone to stop what they’re doing and look at my pumpkin

boyfriend : "i'll be home in 15" me :

Booo

Surprisingly philosophical ticket machine.

the best piece of dating advice i’ve ever received is “if they like you, you’ll know. if they don’t, you’ll be confused.” honestly, it’s all you need to know

Just 27 minutes of this and then 15 minutes on the Stairmaster has my whole body feeling sore af 😭😭 Found my new favorite cardio routine

Italy's response to Versailles, the Royal Palace of Caserta (1752), surpasses Versailles in scale and is one of Europe's most impressive royal residences.

Singlehandedly ending a movement. Doing god’s work.

ads are getting a little to targeted for my liking

First things to do if you think you're ugly: - Up your potassium (anti-bloat) - Boost collagen & vitamin C (skin elasticity) - Topical Ghk-Cu (glowy complexion) - Train neck - Fruit till noon Do this for 3 months. If you're still ugly after that, you might be cooked

The word “retard” is not meant for people with handicaps. It’s meant for non-handicapped people who are stupid. If you don’t understand this, you’re a retard.

*horniest I've ever been* what's you're favorite Le Creuset color

two cults fighting about which tool of oppression they invented first.

been a while

It is not ‘hate’ to speak the truth. It is not ‘hate’ to defend the rights of women and girls. It is not ‘hate’ to be deeply worried about an unevidenced medical experiment on minors. Rationality goes out of the window when you pretend men can be women.

🐸🍎