Whoa dude. All I'm saying is that I really like Tudor Crisps. If you don't like Tudor Crisps, then I can't help you.

Don't tell me what's above my head. I know more about crisps than you ever will. For example, did you know that "crisps" is what they call "chips" in the British language?

I only sat on that rock for a few minutes to eat my Tudor Crisps.

Been getting a lot of this kind of hate since I signed the Tudor Crisps sponsorship deal. Now wondering if it's the whole chip / crisp issue that's making people angry.

Have you tried gammon flavour?

You know how your white-boy spud-gun got invented? By the crusaders outside Muslim-occupied Jerusalem. They stuck the end of their giant spud-cannon into a pig and then fired a huge gobbet of pork into the Muslim city so it could splatter our guys. YOU DON'T CALL THAT OPPRESSION?

So, seriously? This is An Announcement. Next week I'll be dropping tracks from my eight-track side-project "Brian Can't". It's about the hero Brian Cant, and what he couldn't do. Available only on eight-track, like the name says, 'cos it's '70s-influenced. #PlaySkooled #PlayAway

No-one who's seen me take down a pack of Turkey & Stuffing flavor Tudor Crisps in under twenty seconds would call me cold-blooded. My work is my PASSION. bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-…

I just realized: rap music doesn't have a proper tune. It's just talking. Why did no-one point this out to me before?

My new album "Magna Carta Holy Grail" was heavily influenced by "Bonekickers".

I now have 100 problems.

Hello, I am the rapper Jay-Z. I was born on December 4 1969, and am the son of Mr and Mrs Z (no that wasn't their name then, LOL!). I had my first number one hit on the Billboard charts of the United Americans with "Heartbreaker", with Mariah Carey who is a woman.