alternative caption, that was my nickname in highschool

the existence of explosive diarrhea implies the existence of implosive diarrhea. that would hurt so bad

to be loved is to be known

that’s what they called me in highschool

just got enraged thinking about my wife having to deal with period cramps

great day to be a husband with a big titty goth gf

superbowl watcher hope you have a beautiful undying form of friendship with her IN ADDITION to your lover status!!! OH WAIT of course you do!!

ocean

the first 3 seconds of this looks like a giant fucking monkey right it’s not just me right x.com/Viralmint6/sta…

the lion does not concern himself with the opinion of the mother in law

this update sucks

when she says fart i say how loud

microwave is harmonizing with the air fryer and my big fat ass is carrying the melody to don’t stop believing

taylor swift waited to announce her engagement until my gf was in her luteal phase. why are the swifties not talking about this.

the odds that travis kelce pasted in all the lyrics of her full discography into chatgpt and asked for creative and relevant ways to propose are close to none. but not zero

even funnier when you learn the mail man has a duck bill too 😂

just learned there’s a website where you can pay people to let you jerk off in their bed. what kind of freak shit you running Airbnb

This is actually wildly dangerous. There’s a super high likelihood this child grows up realizing cats rule and dogs drool, making them a social pariah in a stinky dog first world

fuckkkkk what if only my balls get raptured tomorrow

fell asleep first at the sleep over