The perfect bookmark doesn't exis-

Do what this sign says. (Reddit)

I think the elephant really ties the room together

Let’s call these orca attacks on boats for what they really are… orcanized crime. (can’t believe I tweet these bangers for free)

I haven't been hip since 1987... Even then it was sketchy.

the only thing flat earthers fear... is sphere it'self

I'm tired. It's been a busy life.

Is there a support group for parents who have attended kid’s parties? 👀😬

So, what's everyone up to? Kidding, I don't fucking care.

Kumquat is such a funny word and nobody is talking about it.

If it’s not one damn thing, it’s another or twenty.

Mirror, mirror on the wall What the hell happened?

A poem

welcome to the existential parking garage

Son's College: Consider giving a gift to the Alumni Association! Me: [sends them back his $34,000 tuition bill with a big red bow on it]