I miss the days when coffee worked.

Where is the lie?

I should put my anxiety in my will cuz it’s always been there for me

This is one of the few Valentine’s Days where I’m in a long term relationship... with myself. TBH, I don’t think it’s going to last. The hair in the shower is kinda a deal breaker. Happy VD, everybody!!! 💙💙💙

Lost hour of sleep. Am now cranky until fall.

Fuck people who say "it's okay, I'll take it on my phone" THEN NEVER SEND YOU THE GODDAMN PICTURE

I like to think I’m tough but I literally just thanked a meter maid for giving me a ticket

WHOA DUDES!!! ✋🏻😲🤚🏻 Look what just popped up on my suggested watch list on YouTube! 👀👁👁 Drew Lynch did a piece with the The Dodo! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 Check it out, everybody!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Very cool!!! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 youtu.be/9TObY1_k7s8

Happy #NationalCheesburgerDay, everybody!!! 🍔🍔🍔 The most glorious of all national holidays! #RIPTonyStark 🙏🏻 Avengers Marvel Entertainment #IronMan #ProofThatTonyStarkHasAHeart

Thank you so much! I consider myself extraordinarily lucky, too! Have a great day! Much love!!! 💙💙💙

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

At this point it's cheaper to wipe my ass with cash.

I remember when coming back from spring break with an STD was all you had to worry about.

Hercules 1997: I can go the distance Hercules 2020: I will social distance

Happy Twitter anniversary, Drew Lynch!!! I hope for many, many, many more years to come. Much love!!! 💙💙💙

This week's #TBT #KarensBirthdays video features the great #ChrisMulkey in studio! #JenniferSaunders and #JohnLeguizamo get the Karen treatment in a lively roundtable of goofery. #TheMovieGuys #movies #films #hollywood #cinema #comedy #flicks #KarenVolpe themovieguys.net/2020/07/23/kar…

Don't miss the hilarious Drew Lynch live at the UCPAC Main Stage parking lot for FREE thanks to the City of Rahway Set up your reservation for the show on 9/26 with the UCPAC Box Office, just email [email protected] youtube.com/watch?v=gCZzSU…

⚠️HELP!⚠️ A food preservation YouTuber I know is in trouble. On 2/14 her family was hit head on by a drunk driver. Her husband was killed, 2 kids had extensive injuries, & she was critically injured w/ a brain bleed & 4 crushed limbs. PLEASE HELP!🙏🏻💙💙💙 gofund.me/ced29f6f

WOOT WOOT!!!