#staycation ahoy. Hello #Folkestone and yes, The Harbour inn, I do, in fact, like to be beside the seaside. Tiddly om pom pom and all that Jazz.

A 2 hour game of monopoly. I was trounced by my kids, but have the moral victory as it only almost came to blows twice and there were only 3 utterances of ‘I hate you’ between them. I am taking full parental credit. #smallvictories

On the downside, my face is melting. Ok the upside, my face is melting. Could quite go a new one.

8yo: Mum, what’s a tampon? 3 minutes later I’m pushing an unwrapped tampon through an imaginary hole in front of my son, wondering just how I got here.

Loving the #badpeople podcast Dr Julia Shaw Sofie Hagen thank you. It’s absolutely fascinating. Although I will never look at a honey barbecue sauce in the same way ever again.

My kids: ‘on Tik Tok I saw...’ roughly translated: I’m about to tell you some complete hokum bullshit that I totally believe to be true & nothing you say will change my mind.

Holidaying in Norfolk with no jumper or waterproof of any description. I mean, what the actual hell was I thinking?

Oh I do like to be beside the #seaside. In my jumper. And cagoule. And wellies. And I f I’d brought my bobble hat I’d have deployed that too. #britishsummer

Son didn’t remind us that he was putting his tooth under his pillow last night and the TF was a no show. Son was gutted, but we explained the concept of staff being furloughed and he accepted it a weary sigh.

You know you can never trust yourself with your own IT when your email goes down, the IT bod puts in EXACTLY the same password as you tried (9 times) & it works for her 1st time. She laughed. I whispered heinous swears into my pc’s hard drive.

So I was chatting with my 8yo son & he mentioned about one day having a girlfriend. 'Or boyfriend,' I add. 'Yes, or boyfriend,' he concurred, before adding, 'Although when I grow up, I am going to identify as an Oreo." Sure thing. I'm not biscuitist.

I’m posting old stuff. My mind is incapable of making new stuff at the moment.

Who doesn’t love an Inset day? Oh wait. Me. No work getting done & am helping with homework. Soon to be lying down in a dark room & considering my life choices.

I do love @Hermesparcels. Did you know their delivery drivers wear invisibility cloaks? One allegedly attempted delivery at 4.30 today, the 'you weren't in' message confirms this. Yet I was sitting in full view of my front door at the time. Clever.

Where do London street maps go when they retire? To my Xmas cards, of course. etsy.com/uk/shop/ThePic…

My 8 year old at breakfast this morning : “If next year is going to be anything like 2020, I’m off to live on Mars”. I mean. The boy has a point.

Thanks Adam Kay 8yo son is learning digestion so over breakfast I read him tales of the intestines & other pooey stories from your book. Much more informative & funny than the crappy video he had to watch. He’s gone off Nutella now for some reason....