It's so funny that delicate snowflake coastal elites like Trump never had to hear what the proletariat thought of them until social media, and they still wouldn't have to if they weren't obsessed with what people think of them. Mortician, bury thyself.

Hey, Elon Musk, we're coming for you first. Didn't end global hunger when you had the chance? You're an enemy of humanity. A bill even you can't pay is coming due very soon

the US if Tylenol actually caused autism

What I'll say about the second Trump presidency is it finally made Trump's first stint as president the second-dumbest presidency we've ever had. I realize that's kinda ableist because he's sundowning, but still.

Hi, Fender? Long time listener, first time tweeter. If this headstock wasn't so ugly, I'd know two. Stop sending free guitars to people with 500 followers on TikTok and just FIX THIS HEADSTOCK, and I will PAY YOU

Bartender Holds Annual Parent-Teacher Meetings With Regulars' Parents

Stephen Miller is four years younger than me but looks like he's a decade older. And he's never brought a woman to orgasm. What a waste of protoplasm. Just a nothing person. If he had never existed, more women would've climaxed.

My friend just called Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney "the its/it's of actors." Merry Christmas, everyone!

ACAB includes the boys in the NYPD choir still singing "Galway Bay."

Once again I have solved a complex problem by being the world's most unfailingly C+ student.

I'm starting to think lead-poisoned Boomers and Xers shouldn't have any power on the global stage. I get it Putin, you want to hurt those that hurt you but you're mainly hurting the generation after you who has better (any) hair

So the party that doesn't believe we should have background checks for guns thinks voting is so dangerous we need IDs? Got it.

They're actually called the Epstain Files.

Every full moon is a Blood Moon if you're bleeding from your eyes

The President is in favor of a bill that requires strict guidelines on who can vote, which will affect the following eligible voters: —Married women who changed their last names —Trump voters End list.

We should rename full size beds "Short Kings."

Hey Senator Joe Manchin, you cartoon of a politician, the "soul" of the Senate is deeply anti-democratic representation, and the filibuster is its Jim Crow. Let democracy reign supreme, not dumb country club rules.

It's going to be hard, but once every person born before 1950 is dead, the world is going to heal rapidly.

Very excited to finally get universal healthcare because there's no other way to deal with the catastrophic rise in Boomers with broke children needing hospice care no one can afford