Imagine being Tom Skinner though. Getting up at 3am to force down a roast dinner on camera even though nobody cares, then spending ages screenshotting made up conversations that everybody immediately spots as fake. Has to be more to life than this

When I walk out of this air conditioned office at 5pm and the sheen hits

Your dad getting ready to head out for a few pints on A level results night, see what happens

Just seen a rock hard white dog shit, whisper it quietly but this country is back

Imagine how many receptionists and dinner ladies Big Jim is going to sack for this one

It's funny watching United be shit but also funny watching peasants from a provincial shithole have their hopes crushed. Classic Carabao

Can they not just put Trump in a wheelchair with sunglasses and pretend he's alive like in Weekend at Bernies. They did it with Biden for about 3 years

Can't wait to see him being interviewed doing a comedy Italian accent like he's in a Dolmio advert

Foden not in the squad today because he's out helping his mum paint flags on roundabouts

Patiently waiting for the first tabloid story of the new school year involving a chav and their feral kid doing compo faces, after he was sent home for coming back with a green mohican or something

There's only one man who can truly judge the quality of 17 year olds

Your dad's secret Babestation phone just went off and now he's trying to convince your mum it's a work phone even though he's a dinner lady