[throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] Dude stay still jesus christ[throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses]

“WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!” “… i worship you. 🥰”

. . i was gonna say chicken butt

well geez , someone’s in a bad mood ( again )! did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what ?

oh !! man , i guess santa’s been giving out surprises early this year . . think you made it on the nice list , big guy ?

maybe they all helped !! don’t be like that , of course santa is real ! who else eats the cookies we leave out for him on christmas eve ?? ( i eat them )

oh come on , at least try to experience some jolly christmas spirit ! and my gown is perfectly fine , i think the ketchup and mustard stains add character

eh , guess you’re right . there’s thanksgiving , but that’s basically christmas for turkeys ! and if it bothers you so much then why don’t you just wash it for me , hm ?

she has her dad’s immune system , duh ! you know , you really are such a sweet guy , migs. i’m sure you’ll make it on Santa’s nice list in no time ( he had that goofy grin on his face while he peeled off his robe , VERY cautious of those talons )

ah , how sweet of you ( snickering like this was the funniest thing on earth ) oh come on , it doesn’t smell that bad ! baby powder and mustard is a very comforting scent . . to some