I'm this old

i have no desire to be rich so i can buy a rolex or a lamborghini. i want to be rich so i can control my time and go to the gym at 3pm on a monday. sit at a cafe and relax for an hour on a rainy afternoon. so i can cook meals at home with fresh ingredients. spend on my family

Ummmmm….. me, 4 minutes ago

The concept of hiding your baby’s face in a photo shoot that we didn’t beg you to post

twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random walking by agrees with you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

What’s the phase of life called, when you don’t want to leave the house? And you don’t want anyone coming over to the house..

Such a serious expression

I’m never calling it “X”, it will always be Twitter to me😭😂

There are two genders. One goes to a gynecologist. One goes to a urologist. The rest go to a psychiatrist.

mark, lexie, callie and arizona co-parenting could have been THE greatest family dynamic on greys anatomy.

What's the MOST ADDICTIVE Netflix series EVER?? The kind that makes you say "just one more episode"... and suddenly it's 4 AM 👀

I’m seeing a lot of open borders people suddenly concerned about sleeper cells. How the fuck do you think they get in the country?

No. I would just do something I enjoy….

Hell ya.

Worst thing social media ever did was convince dumb people their opinions mattered.

I hate pending payments just take the fucking money

As spring approaches, I'd just like to politely remind everyone that natural deodorant doesn't work.