I swear I will forever and always catch 180 bars as I hit the ground, never sooner but sometimes later

But wait,I don’t understand. If I can’t say I want you to kiss my balls how am I supposed to initiate that it’s kiss my balls time

Have you ever farted on somebody had to apologize for it and then run into them 4 more times before you finished shopping? #smartandfinal

Last night I made 48 pizza rolls for ari and I. I had 42, she had 1

I don’t hate it I just don’t like it at all

“Space is wack bro”

Bad bitches only

Fuck you if you wear neon ankle socks

Fuck like neighbors cuss like sailors

“It’s too hot out for damn sleeves”

You ever just wake up at 2:30am with a completely numb arm and a raging boner

This onetime I broke my grandmas leg with my dirt bike

Started my day with breaking my pussy toe now I’m high as fuck at the dentist

2 percent of my instagram followers are 65+ women

“Who the fuck told me to put wool socks on this morning?” -sauce

This is a song anbout skydiving it’s called high speed dirt

Fuck corn tortillas

When you switch to Trevor on GTA

Best part about this piece of dust I’m eating is the cream cheese I’m dunking it in

You know those people who like to stop and “appreciate nature”? I’m not one of those guys, I appreciate my nature at 90mph