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Realized after washing my hands at a truck stop that some (undoubtedly illegal) employee put Fabulosa in the soap dispenser #MassDeportationsNow

Do we think that Corbin is involved in the decisions about who gets to tickle whose balls in left field between innings? Maybe if he gave that responsibility to an assistant he could focus on coaching a little more

Lowkey long ahh torso. Probably 5-6 beers

How I would’ve been pulling up on the side of that highway

Trump rn

Yeah but I’m sure they would be thrilled about government officials having to communicate with “Americans” in Spanish

I’ll intervene.

Tiger just forced a fucking play off in the U.S. Open and I didn’t even know he was in the field. Is anyone else seeing this?

Spaun’s caddie is actually a HOF aura thief jumping into his arms like that, making him look gay as hell on national television

Sam Burns after being denied relief twice

Just came out of the handicapped stall after scrolling twitter for 10 minutes to have a guy in a wheelchair hit me with an exaggerated yawn. Sorry sir, I was monitoring the situation in Iran

Weak ahh missile 🤣 boy if you don’t get your Arab ass on somewhere 🤣

Does being hung jaundice after my Juneteenth festivities count as reparations?

Cmon mane 💔

I’m ngl Trump got me fired up, I’m trusting the plan

Plan-trusters vindicated yet again. I could never be a Panician

And people will really try to tell you not to trust Trump because of something that happened in some shithole desert

There’s only one man who can save New York now

Bitch ass mf in the back better count his fucking days

Hakeem Jeffries just said he doesn’t know how to spell “flummoxed”. Yeah man, we know you don’t