Who is complaining that Superman is an undocumented immigrant? He’s been an undocumented immigrant with an alias and false papers since 1933. If you knew how to read (or even listen) you’d already know that.

Alright, my anime homies, I’m lost. Is there any specific reason Rurouni Kenshin sounds like he’s trying to be Yoda, or does he just talk like that?

I don’t understand the point of the Mobile thru lane at my local Chick-fil-A, Inc., especially since they make us wait in line behind people not using the app in the regular drive through lane. It’s like they’re punishing their most loyal customers for being more efficient.

If you’re going to look at my old married ass and decide to hit on me in DMs, you really should cash app me first. Since you’re making bad decisions like hitting on a married woman, I figure you’re bad with your finances too, so you wouldn’t mind being separated from your cash.

I cannot believe my hometown, elected that old crook as a mayor again. Like we voted him out forever ago. Why reelect him now that he’s older and more corrupt?

Going out of your way to deadname people is just plain hateful no matter how you slice it.

Just because you have LBGTQ friends doesn’t mean you can go around being hateful to other LBGTQ people. Period.

Reporting and blocking every hateful person in my mentions tonight.

The fact that Disney Jr. actually posted this meme to their own social media just shows how clueless executives will green light anything they think is trendy. I did not need to know this about these characters bums. Why is preschool programming sharing anal related content?

Avoid going on a family trip to Egypt

My local Wendy’s refused to give me my money back for something I ordered that they’re out of, and told me to take it up with my app. Guess what isn’t answering me? Apparently their 1-800 number has certain hours so I guess I’m out of my money since my Wendy’s sucks.

“Obscure acronym” my ass. We knew what DSLs were when my 40 year old ass was in high school before we even had internet.

This just made me feel so old, because I remember it.

My weird kid asked to wear a red top hat to prom. Initially I balked. But because my mom let me, her weird kid, wear pants to my Junior prom, not only did I buy him the top hat, but I also got him gators to match. They only have so long where they can be weird kids. Let em.

Unironically, I would do this.

Tell me you didn’t watch the show without telling me you didn’t watch the show.

This guy plus Backstreet Boys were my bedroom wallpaper from the ages of 12 to 19. He’s still cute! Child stars grow up just like we do.

I don’t know why I even eat Chick-fil-A, Inc. any more. It’s obvious they only care about older white men. That’s why I stood at the counter for a solid five minutes, waiting to check in for my order, and got ignored, but the old white guy who just walked up immediately got service.