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If I was running Biden’s campaign, I’d bring this “dementia test” to the debate and show everyone the clip art drawings he keeps bragging about.

"It's really hard to make a career in the arts. We need to fund the arts in America. It is the hallmark of a civilized society." —Stereophonic playwright David Adjmi 🔊 David Adjmi #TonyAwards

Have any of the Long Covid studies explained why basketball coaches stopped wearing suits during Covid and then never wore suits again?

Goofus says nothing of substance in a booming voice. Gallant cites statistics like he’s dying.

BIDEN MUST GO ON HOT ONES

Biden campaign: “Yes, we’re losing but we’re only losing by more than we were already losing. And the oldest man in the world who can’t talk will fix that with a plan we can’t tell you about. Stop bedwetting!”

¡La fecha se aproxima! Beetlejuice on Broadway está por llegar a CDMX. Conoce toda la información de esta temporada y adquiere tus boletos aquí: n9.cl/beetlejuice-mu… Gou Producciones #BeetlejuiceTheMusical #CentroCulturalTeatro1

“There are those who love regretting, There are those who like extremes, There are those who thrive on chaos And despair. There are those who keep forgetting How the country's built on dreams -- People listen… They may not want to hear it, but they listen…”

Food Town —> Food Lion

If we put “I’m dropping out” in Biden’s teleprompter, he might just say it.

May I recommend The Afterparty, a fun murder mystery show with an incredible cast

No way Biden drops out now

I’ve never understood why Ds empower him by calling him dangerous instead of belittling him and laughing at the weird, sad, ineffectual joke he is. What he wants to do is unpopular and what he promised he’d do he never did! That’s not dangerous, it’s pathetic!

Someone needs to write a Robert Caro-sized tome about Nancy Pelosi’s political career.

Mexico City, YOUR TIME HAS COME! The B-Man is going south of the border, baby! See you at Cartelera de Teatro beginning July 30! #BeetlejuiceTour

JD Vance tucking his kids in at night: “You’re the only reason I’m not a sociopath.” *french kisses pillow*

Call a Democrat a Communist or a Kenyan or Crooked based on nothing? That’s just politics. But make one little joke about a Republican fucking a couch? NO FAIR!! MOMMY MAKE THEM STOP!!

U-STEPH-A! U-STEPH-A!

Attention young ghosts and goths! BEETLEJUICE JR. is now available for licensing!

"I thought it was just a fart."