A glory hole but instead of weeners, it's bread sticks from Olive Garden

猫に指吸われるたびに大事な記憶一個ずつ吸われていってる 今もうお母さんの顔も思い出せない

Gandalf the Golden x.com/Yoda4ever/stat…

I could fixture...

Unfathomable amounts of people have fallen in love, found beauty in a sunset, were brave, cowardly, loyal, traitors, died fighting senseless wars in the names of tribes and gods that will never be remembered for an amount of time literally incomprehensible

Used to like Humpty Dumpty, but he really fell off

It's hard to see someone else living your best life

Ever since I was a little kid I knew that I wanted to be late for work

For every like I get I will do NOTHING

Yeah!!! Groah…. Only MEN like maps and shit. Only MEN enjoy geography. Women only like lip gloss and stanly cup. MEN MEN MEN MEN

If you're wondering why today is such a big deal take a look at this:

We are a very very dumb, stupid people

I never got the appeal of celebrities. Just some fucking people.

when i get my paycheck, i get me a nice toikey. and den i eat da toikey until my tummy urts. den i throw da bones at james

We don’t give small monkeys cool fezzes and little vests anymore and I think this is why the stock market dropped 2 trillion dollars the other day

I am using an ancient manifestation spell to encourage the cancer cells in Trumps body to expand rapidly. I can hear their wishes and control their dreams. We wish for the same thing.

Frog Story

Laughed so hard I ran a red light and took out 4 pedestrians and wrapped my car around a tree