“Can I borrow your hot glue gun? I need to fix my Greek theatre mask”

Guy in the copy shop: really obscure question, but do you guys have envelopes? My brother in Christ, what do you mean “obscure”? It’s paper?? That’s their whole thing???

“Boss” is my favorite thing a person can call a stranger. Like that’s just so silly and fun to me

Guys I’m thinking I should just come hang out in the copy shop. I’m having a blast (not sarcastic)

What they said: chinchilla What I heard: chinchilla What I saw in my head:

“It’s not a hate crime if I deserve it” - Kendra

vote, cowards.

“Combo boots” - Kendra

Last night I had a dream set inside a crab aquarium/crystal museum and featuring Bryce Dallas Howard, Will Ferrell, and Tommy Wiseau Make sense of THAT, dream interpreters

“Fiona from ‘Shrimp’” - Kendra

Mulan II goes so hard

Nothing quite like the feeling of finally understanding something that Dr. Lisa Quoresimo has been trying to tell you for YEARS

South Dakota slogans I have learned in my first week here: 1. Meth. We’re on it. 2. Don’t jerk and drive 3. Real men love babies

I think it is one of the great failings of our modern society that there are only 18 cookies in a box of coconut dreams

The way old people text stresses me out 😭 Why is there a period there?? What have I done????