You don't really NEED a pilot's license. What are they gonna do, pull you over?

💗💗💗

Saying, "fumbling me is crazy big dawg" to my boss after getting fired

People just walk around all willy-nilly on the same planet that dinosaurs got taken out on like we're invincible or something. You are not better than a stegosaurus.

Drug dealers in 2026: Yo, this cocaine is actually PACKED with protein

Yes! I DID love growing up with the internet in the early 2000s! I played flash games, took care of NeoPets, I saw a beheading video, AND I made friends on MySpace

Grok, play with the balls a little

I can't do this anymore, I'm at my clits end

I just had a delicious meal using only 3 ingredients: - 1 beer - 2 more beers

Eww dude gross, don't out your faith in me, I don't know where it's been

I regret to inform you, they have euthanized that dawg in me

It's simple, if you can't behave in my subreddit, you're getting banned

When I die, I want all the microplastics in my body to be melted down into a tiny dinosaur

Get on your knees

(Commercial for stones) Are you tired of killing 2 birds with your bare fucking hands?

"Making love" is so unromantic. Me and my man are boinking.

Should I get my belly button pierced?

May the 4th be with you

I don't smoke but I am an ally (I carry a lighter)