Normalize backing into a parked truck earlier today

just took my pug on the subway in a tote bag. he delicately licked the elbow of the woman standing in front of me, who then let out easily the most blood-curdling scream i have ever heard in my life

I need to start shutting the fuck up

poor spelling skills are so sexy to me. like when they’re still fully confident in the wake of throwing down “goverment” mid text

a christian man won’t dare skip ahead on his hershey’s kiss advent calendar but he will cheat on you

the phrase “man of few words” has only ever been used to describe a small socially awkward child

thanksliving with the boys

This boggles the mind from a grammatical standpoint. You had the object pronoun sitting.right.there.

We missed you TCH Jr.

We are suing the New York Times.

Here at the Rock House every room is build with brotherhood in mind

Footage of a real live quick change I did during a Shakespearean play

get you a goon who says "uhh i dunno about dis one, boss!"

kuma sutra but drawn like an IKEA assembly manual

any time i see this a pic of Guy pose with a dude i get a small heart attack

Bereal camera got u sittin a kilometer away from that tv

I am all settled up with Sean! secure.splitwise.com/l/c/su/hEJM7PX…

Your european colleagues when you try following up with them on a critical project due two weeks ago