x.com/i/lists/170214…

⠀ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ DOCTOR「 𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐌𝐀𝐍 」‍ ‍ ‍ ❝ 𝙅𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙝 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙣, 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢 warned me about your resurrection. ❞ ⠀

⠀ ❝ 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗡! Prepare to own the means of my foot up your ass! ❞ Fires the slowest projectile known to man. ⠀

⠀ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ DOCTOR「 𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐌𝐀𝐍 」‍ ‍ ‍ Effortlessly blending in to an army of 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙩 robots utilizing only the highest tech cardboardium alloy America has to offer, the true american hero stood in line for routine inspection. ❝ Beep boop, I am programmed to terrify humans. ❞ ⠀

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⠀ ❝ dear GOD they reverse engineered american box technology... ❞ Muttered under his breath, thankfully, his flawless disguise is still working. ❝ UH- Yes! You do not remember me because I teleported from the future! To... kill capitalists! ❞ ⠀

⠀ ❝ BEEP BOOP. JUMP ON HIPPIES AND KILL THEM. ❞ ⠀

Emphasizing his robotic tone harder. ❝ BARPLE BART. I CAN ASSURE YOU, I HAVE TAKEN PLENTY OF ROBOT DRUGS AND FEEL ROBOT FINE. I DO NOT NEED ROBOT SURGERY, AFTER ALL, I AM FLAWLESS, BUILT BY YOU, THE ROBOT DADDY. I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I TAKE EVERY JOB. ❞ ⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀❝ & though you fight to stay alive, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀your body starts to spasmus. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀For no mere mortal can resist, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀the magic of 𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐒! ❞ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀#MVRP #TF2RP ⠀

⠀ // follow my merasmus right the fuck now x.com/DOOMATED/statu… ⠀

⠀ ❝ beep beep... my... lung... must... breathe... robotically... hhheeheeheeehhhh...❞ ⠀

⠀ [ visibly wretching in pain ] ❝ oh dear god my splee- i mean- I WAS CURSED BY A DRACULA. IT IS MY MISSION TO KILL HIM FOR CURSING ME A REAL BOY. ❞ ⠀

⠀ ❝ GOOD. I NEED MY AMERICAN MEAT ORGANS TO KILL ENEMIES OF THE COUNTRY MUCH MORE EFFECTIVELY. ❞ ⠀

͏͏͏ “ That's the spirit. All right, let's get you put back together ... ” Placing a large slab of tempered alloy over the open wound, not even making an attempt to sanitize and stitch it shut. Sealing him back into his suit like he would an endo-frame into a shell. ͏͏͏

⠀ ❝ SCIENTISTS IN THE FUTURE HAVE STUDIED YOUR ASS FOR CENTURIES, AND SENT 𝗠𝗘 BACK IN TIME TO KICK IT. ❞ ⠀

⠀ ❝ BEEP BOOP, I AM PROGRAMMED TO KICK COMMIES IN THEIR ASS. ❞ [ IMMEDIATELY OPENS FIRE ] ⠀

⠀ ❝ BEEP BEEP, THE HIPPY CLAIMS TO BE A JUDAS TO THE COUNTRY. ❞ [ FIRING MORE ROCKETS ] ⠀