Professional golfer Grayson Murray died by suicide yesterday. He struggled with alcoholism and mental health issues for years. In January he won his second PGA Tour event, the Sony Open in Hawaii. During the press conference after the tournament, instead of letting him celebrate

I just called Culver City’s Department of Transportation to complain about a left turn arrow not lasting long enough. It’s over. Send me to a fucking nursing home because I’m officially a boomer.

Boomer bosses complain they can’t connect with the younger generations. It’s actually really simple. I’ve been on a work call for the past 90 minutes, and I’ve never connected with my boss more than when he just texted me “I’m going to kill myself.” Me too, bossman, me too. 🥲

Oh this goes so fucking hard.

Me in 8th grade basketball down 20 to McClure at halftime:

I don’t have many radical opinions, but I fully believe if you’re a parent that allows your kid to play on their iPad at full volume in public, you should be sent to prison for a minimum of a week.

I’m displeased to report that my brother puts hot sauce into his protein shakes. As this is clear and obvious serial killer behavior, I will be reporting him to the authorities posthaste.

Just accidentally “who do you know here”d the GM of the Atlanta Hawks while we’re shooting a commercial with Trae Young.

Started calling my therapist “feelings boy” and it’s gotten him very upset, thus proving my point.

“Best freeway access” is a hell of a compliment to open Jerry O'Connell

The “most compatible” recommendations on hinge make me want to buy a gun and commit self harm.

The most representative meme of my entire life.

I cannot stress enough how much Mario (4.91 stars) loves Justin Bieber. We are on minute 7 of the ride, song 3 of the Bieb, and at least an 8/10 on the volume. It’s 7:15am.

Holy shit Caleb

Bears have been extremely racist and unfair to Shedeur.

I will January 6 Halas Hall

NOT TODAY OLD FRIEND

Over my dead fucking body

If I’m Ryan Poles, I’m going scorched earth in the press. Im blasting the rule itself for being racist. I’m calling Matt Ryan the Falcon’s GM in every press op. I’m going on every single McAfee, PFF show, anywhere to make this as much of a nightmare for the league as possible.