❝ so, I’m gonna be rea- uh, you know I’m thinking… at first, I thought you were kinda useless, tommy. ❞

❝ oh, this is delicious, you did a fantastic job. pumpkin pie is in my opinion the only good pie. ❞

❝ yeah, we might’ve stabbed some people, but you know, if you think about it…? none of them canonically died, so we’re not even, like, murderers. so…we basically just went in there and beat them up and did some mild property damage. that’s pretty justifiable. ❞

❝ if it isn’t the quackster himself! how are you doing! ❞

❝ yeah, I’m old now. ❞

❝ just moving on. ❞

❝ yeah, we’re good, yeah, it’s just, I don’t think that’s gonna come up later. ❞

❝ ah, governments! ❞

❝ I’m like: ‘oh! not the fireworks! l’manberg!’ you’re just like: ‘happy birthday!’ and before you even finish saying ‘birthday’ I’ve spawned two withers just right outside my house. ❞

❝ I think that’s a good skill to have. I don’t know if I can make you guys into fearsome warriors or anything, but if you guys can at least keep yourselves uh… alive… ❞

❝ cake. cake. we can all eat the cake! ❞

❝ uh, I deny all of this. ❞

❝ you know, the past is the past. it’s all ancient history. ❞

❝ don’t you see what’s happening here?! don’t you see history repeating itself?! you think schlatt was the cause of your problems?! no! it was government! power corrupts! ❞

❝ yeaah, I think- uhh, you’d have to… like, walk in there and then uhh… and then all those guys would- that’d be kinda suspicious. I’ll save you uh- I’ll save you a slice, man, tell you when. ❞

❝ yeah. anything interestin’ happen while I was away–? ❞

❝ I probably should. yeah. ❞

❝ the greeks knew the score. but if you want to be a hero, tommy? that’s fine… ❞

❝ I would hate to be lied to on my birthday. that’s actually one of my major pet peeves. it’s like twice as bad as lying to me on any other day. ❞

❝ the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack, am I right? got’em! cuz he’s homeless, eyy! lmao. alright, carry on. ❞