Faith Hill Drying lettuce getting kissed In a salad spinner 🤝 centrifugal motion

I’m a bitch I’m an Orca Sinking boats Just off Majorca I’m a sinner I’m a whale My sinking never fails

Happy happy pub day, Jaclyn Goldis 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Having an existential crisis bc I’ve learned tv land now plays Everybody Loves Raymond and not like, Bewitched 👵🏻

We're thrilled to share the second year of Portland Book Festival Cover to Cover, our #PDXBookFest partner event program, will be Oct. 30–Nov. 5! Enjoy a week of unique literary events across #Portland. Event submissions are open now & close 8/31! lit-arts.org/PBFC2C #PDXC2C

Okay but I’m like actually crying at the ending of ROMANTIC COMEDY?! My heart is mush??

If you haven’t cried at the Joni Gorge vids today, then like what are you even doing

Every good bookstore needs a Bigfoot section Powell's Books

I am plugged in. I am fully charged. I am unstoppable. I am running into a chair. I am running into a chair. I am running into a chair... mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-roo…

Before twitter dies YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE I'm shouting about this dream blurb. You can pre-order #WhereTheDeadWait wherever books are sold!

I’m testing the limits of how many BBQ flavored chips one can eat. For science.

Is Target asking me if I want to add $3.99 two year Allstate insurance to the hot wheels car I bought a beloved 5 year old a…joke? Scam? Real?!!!!

I hope everyone’s group chats have as many alien/UAP links and theories in them as mine do, because it’s bringing me pure delight

anyway, here's wonderwall

There's a chill in the air (love it! SOUP SEASON!) and my second novel is not far behind... #WhereTheDeadWait lands Dec 5 (US) and Jan 23 (UK) and you can find the relevant stuff... you know where 😉

"give your local fox a big sausage roll from me" 🧡 paging Lara Jones

In TRIPLE SEC by @tjalexanderNYC, a jaded bartender is wooed by a charmingly quirky couple in this fresh and sizzling polyamorous rom-com, set in the glamorous world of high-end cocktail bars. #EWGC

Hi Normal Gossip I need to know the identity of the ferret author, please, I’m begging, my DMs are open!!!!!!