You know you're #gettingold when all the bands you'd want to see at a festival are in the lower point size

Purchased 2 pack of avocados. Received 2 edible avocados. Must play the lottery today #luck

I don't feel like a winner.

You know you're middle class when you're watching the #England game but your kebab is vegan and your beer is an Earl Grey infused IPA. #WorldCup

#lazy or #genius?

Really proud of the team today, out there on behalf of the whole country, filling our hearts with hope. #england #loveislove

You know you're a dog person when you're so distracted by a cute doggo in a window that you walk square into a lamppost.

British, white, middle-class, male critiques piece on white ignorance of black American culture. Drops a star because it's too violent and ambiguous. BBC @WillGompertzBBC bbc.co.uk/news/entertain…

Next level GDPR compliance! #gdpr #gdprjokes