The dumbest guy you knew in High School became a police officer and the dumbest guy he knew became an ICE agent.

I sat on the shitter working on my taxes & enjoying the steam for so long that I accidentally ran out of hot water

Pretty sure I saw Adam Friedland eating alone at a Long John Silvers in southern West Virginia the other day

my body does not know the difference between a mistake at work and being hunted for sport

Fuck it, the full Yellow Parenti lecture. RIP Michael Parenti (1933 - 2026)

My 17yo employee just referenced Thomas Sankara in conversation. These kids really might have a chance.

god intended delivery of chinese food and pizza, everything else is haram

THE UNBRIDLED GREATNESS OF TRAINS WILL ENDURE FOR A MILLION YEARS

sometimes when i'm feeling stressed out i make a list of actionable steps and imagine mike ehrmantrout saying "this is what you're going to do"

Weed before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before weed, also pretty good. Beer and weed at the same time, now that’s chilling. A little bump after too and you’re really flying.

Fucker Bowl

Police are so important. Without police, the city would probably fall under the control of a violent gang that's accountable to no one and sucks up all the resources while committing crimes with impunity.

Young guys don't believe in freight anymore. I do. Crates, boxcars, big old boxcars full of coal. I believe in them. I believe in all of it

Really hard to read any headlines lately without thinking about how many of us are probably going to have to die for nothing like it’s 1905 Russia soon

I'm too soft as a boss I really need to get my inner Tony Soprano back

Got rejected by multiple car insurance companies because my driving is so avant garde and unprecedented that to put a price value on it would cheapen the human spirit

Water damaged Adderall from under my desk got me cleaning the house with my tongue out like Venom

Highly pro-business seating arrangement in this McDonald’s. Asked the kid sweeping up, “They make deals here? Is this the deal space?” He went “Sometimes.”

Maybe the patriots should fumble again. That would help.

my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds and they all gotta eat