Someday we will be doing the Crank That Soulja Boy at weddings the same way our grandparents do the Jitterbug

Ya’ll may be having a brat summer but I’m having a brat (sausage) summer

about to show this dave & busters the dark side of alcoholism

Monumental

Alex Piepkorn Concordia Moorhead, Offensive Line 2013-2017

Just asked my wife who she thinks will win the Heisman and her answers were Scottie Sheffler and Gronk

Packing for a 2 day trip like I’m gunna shit my pants 3 times and go swimming

TEST YOUR DRUGS, people

A Virgo will snort coke off a stranger in the back alley of a K-mart & still have the energy to lyk you could be doing better. The call is always coming from inside the house with those people

Fun fact, riding bicycles is a time-honor tradition in Wisconsin due to the fact that most people in the state have DUIs

I don’t care who wins this game. The touch foul calls SGA gets are really awful. They don’t resemble anything else that’s happening in the playoffs.

I missed ruining my life with tweets we’re so back

Just overheard a bartender say “if he doesn’t show up here by 2:30 everyday we have to call the morgue.” #Dedication

100 Grand has the worst marketing of all-time. Tier 1 candy that goes forgotten every year

Anthony Edwards is the coolest basketball player alive

I generally root for greatness because I want to be able to say I saw the greatest team/player/game/moment ever The OKC are an outlier for me, because everything they do is so wildly unlikable From their flop+foul-based play style to this “tanking for me but not for thee” move

they should make a food that’s a perfect blend of protein carbs and nutrients that you can snack on in the pantry

Irish Zionism

I don’t care if Jaden McDaniels have another good game in this series because what he did last night after addressing the Nuggets like the numbers on a house is the most gangsta thing I’ve seen this season.