My doctor just told me I have a prolapsed Catholic

No one: This baby looks like a Glen.

The Matrix trilogy

If you Quantum Leap into me, where do *I* go?

E.T. is the story of a boy’s first toxic codependent relationship

I invented the phrase “mighty ikran.”

this man is like the only person who has ever actually gotten the superhuman confidence and success promised by a cult. he's like the top .01% girlie they bring on stage at an MLM conference to show what's possible x.com/TomCruise/stat…

I got Shallow Hal’ed and now I only see Santa as a hunk. Christmas is ruined.

“The best way to complain is to make things.” —James Murphy

I only go to church on Super Bowl Sunday for the announcements

“perfect all of your memories” is wild on many levels but it also misunderstands what photographs do for us over time: the thing you think is ugly or boring in a photograph now will be the most interesting thing later (something Clayton Cubitt taught me) austinkleon.com/2021/01/31/wha…

What you try to crop out and hide now might eventually be what you will want to see. austinkleon.com/2023/02/26/imp…

“I’m very concerned,” Mister Rogers told Charlie Rose, in 1994, before most of us knew, or had really used. the Internet, “that our society is much more interested in information than in wonder.”

I told you all

“A man reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.” — G. C. Lichtenberg

When I saw the news, I came searching for this clip.