if you cant handle me at my worst then you sure as hell cant handle me when i am covered in jam because i am too slippery xox

💍💍💍💍💍💍💍

Same planet. Different world.

when i was at the dentist today i filled my mouth up with loads of mayonnaise and when i opened my mouth the dentist couldnt believe it and he kept on dipping his finger in the mayonnaise and putting it in his mouth and saying he wished more people would bring him snacks xox

Lowkey missed Twitter hayyyyyyy

Real question has anyone actually seen a frog in it’s transition phase from tadpole to frog or are we just taking people’s word that’s what happens?

Twitter oh hi there twitter i am glad that i have helped you gobble up all of the learns xox

ᴛʜɪs ᴘᴏsᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴs sᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀs ғᴏʀ ᴀᴠᴇɴɢᴇʀs: ᴇɴᴅɢᴀᴍᴇ the weirdest part of the movie is when the elephant uses his ears like wings to fly around the circus?? none of the avengers even showed up 2/10 shit movie

Congrats Class of 2019. You did it!! 🎓💅 RT if you graduated this year! #ultabeauty

The can of Chef Boyardee ravioli following me home after my mom said I couldn’t have it

#TheKnotDrforConair #complimentary Conair Beauty Influenster loving the volume this gives me!! So glad I got to try this for free!

Only text me if it’s about neverending obsessive unendurable love

sometimes. there’s a fellow pup. on the tv. and i try to tell them. i enjoy their work. but they never hear me

I gas up other girls so much like if I see a hot girl she’s gunna find out from me just how hot she is

Everyone napping on my bed but me while I study 😅

Being around my dog while drunk is a dangerous situation I want to squish him with hugs

“Dad you’re lucky you’re my dad because if you were my boyfriend I would’ve dumped you for that” -my sister 😂😂😂😂😂

Can you plz win so my dad won’t be sad Philadelphia Eagles

Whoever thinks Grey’s Anatomy isn’t realistic has obviously never worked in a hospital 😅