The way plums tasted.

I want to publicly apologize to squidward.

Banger 😂

if they would've given me adderall in middle school i would be a homeowner by now

New York State has ordered cosmetology and hairstyling schools to teach kinky, coily, and curly hair care, with the updated curriculum required to be implemented by September 2026.

My client called and asked if I can fit him in for a haircut tonight just to say he gotta look for a ride. Mane I’m goin to bed

You literally have to not give a fuck. Like simply stop giving a fuck. About anything lmfao

A girl who hangs around with “hoes” is automatically a “hoe” but men who hang around with abusing, manipulative, rapist friends & all of a sudden it’s “not their business” Pick a script and stick to it.

Moms are not excited for sex just because they’re tired. Many mothers do want sex, want to feel that spark again but foreplay doesn’t start with a boob grab at 10:42 PM. It starts when someone else does bedtime so she can exhale. It starts when the dishes are already done, the

My cat Basil died. My baby. She’s been with me through every up and down the last 8 years and now she’s just gone. The most gentle and sweet kitty anyone could ask for. She was so loved and I am hurting in her absence.

I’m so fucking sad. I miss my baby

If I feel like a nigga lying about a bitch ima text her and tbh we should normalize that without making it weird cause these niggas b playing both sides you can’t blame nobody for wanting shit to get cleared up

notice how "fatherless", "single mother" and "daddy issues" are used as insults towards women but they're all examples of a man's failure

Idk who paid for all my drinks last night but ily

My baby daddy got robbed. Good things really do happen when you least expect it🥰

People be grown as hell still arguing about PEDMAS

Women are sharing live locations, checking the backseats of cars, carrying their keys between their knuckles and holding their hands over their drinks. Men are doing 3 hour podcasts about how unfair it is that women don't smile at them.

sorry guys would've liked to have quote tweeted this with a wedding update two years later but instead it's just a stark reminder of how scary men can be

Consideration is the highest form of compliment