According to M.A.S.H. I was supposed to have a more luxurious life than this

Coworkers will say they will work any day you need covered but when you need a day covered they say their neighbor’s best friend’s snail is graduating snail school and can’t make it

happy international kissing day y’all can kiss my ass

Me and my friends are going to strategically have kids at the same time so that way our sons can be on the same summer ball teams and we can sit on our tailgates and talk about how trash the other kids are and go on Florida tournaments as an excuse to be on vacation

when drunk friend escapes to go stay with her ex u all hate x.com/brooke_ansley/…

I never lost a real friend......lemme say that again I NEVER lost a real friend let that sink

Women’s club soccer tryout will be held 8/27 and 8/29 from 8-10pm on the Taco Bell fields! The tryout fee is $10. You must attend both sessions. Hope to see everyone there!! ⚽️

I have a bunch of ideas for how to spend $5 BILLION and a wall aint one.

So my lil cousin been bad all through this year and his mom told him if he keeps acting up Santa’s gonna give him rocks for Christmas he said “idc I like rocks” so this is his gift 💝 😂 Merry Christmas Karl 🎄❤️🤣😅

Do NOT drink and drive and DON'T ride with anybody who does. Tipsy Tow offered by AAA: You don't have to be an AAA member, from 6pm-6am on New Year's Eve/Day they will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE. Save this number... 1-800-222-4357 . Feel free to share this!

Hook and Ladder ➡️Touchdown 😵 #KCvsDET | 📺: FOX